Rules for Storming the Floor

This is something I wrote on my old blog The Extrapolater, on February 23rd of last year. We've been seeing some big wins, and some floor storming, so we figured it was time to publish the rules for storming, and see if you have something to add.

First, however, take a look at these fantastic photos of floor storming at Syracuse sent in by reader Rob K., who was at the Syracuse win over Georgetown. That's also his handiwork above. We think this particular storming might have violated a few bylaws, but we love the photos.

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It’s that time of the year again. As the NCAA tournament grows ever nearer, and teams hop on and off the bubble on a daily basis, tensions in the stands can boil over into the dastardly scourge of Floor Storming.

As we all know, storming the field of play can only result in injury, lawlessness, and the heartbreak of chlamydia. Fortunately, the SEC is doing something about it. They have levied stiff punishments against any member school that is unable to control fan behavior, as evidenced by the $25,000 fine incurred by Vanderbilt after pushing and shoving got out of hand in a win over Florida.

Now, I know kids will be kids, and sometimes the pain is worth it. What’s college without chlamydia, I always say. But there should be a few rules in place to help impressionable youngsters assess the proper time and place for court storming.

When:

* If your unranked school beats a top-10 opponent.
* If your lower-division school beats a D1 opponent. (See: Virginia @ Chaminade)
* You beat your most hated rival in overtime, or on a last-second miracle shot.
* Your team breaks a long losing streak vs. a particularly difficult opponent. (See: Kansas State vs. Kansas at home.)
* Your team wins the league tournament in a one-bid conference.
* In the NCAA tournament, only a 16 vs. 1 upset really matters any more. If your school wins in the Regional Final or Final Four, you can storm.
* If your school wins the NCAA Championship. This special win also confers limited looting & pillaging rights.

Not OK:

* Winning the NIT.
* If your school is ranked. Possible exceptions for beating #1.
* Students at Kansas, UCLA, Kentucky, Indiana, North Carolina, and Duke should be used to winning. Unless a national championship is in sniffing distance, you will look like assholes storming the court.
* Never, ever storm before the final buzzer sounds.
* If you storm an opponent’s court, odds are you will get hurt.
* A personal milestone for a player or coach is his moment, not yours.
* The Ivy League? I don’t think so.

How:

* Make sure you know which gate will be open. If you try to storm through the wrong one, you risk entering enemy territory and being the target for an entire section of irate opposing fans (yes, I speak from personal experience).
* Don’t try to bust in on your players and coaches. They appreciate your enthusiasm, but you are not welcome in the huddle.
* Do not approach Bobby Knight or Bob Huggins, even if they coach for your school.
* Don’t rub it in the faces of opposing players. They lost, and you didn’t score, dish, or rebound once in the game. If the players can treat each other with respect, the fans owe nothing less. Even to an annoying furriner like Joakim Noah.
* For the love of god, don’t damage your own building. That’s just stupid.
* Don’t overstay your welcome. When things start to wind down, take it to the nearest bar. If the team’s gone, you should be too.
* Enjoy the moment. Storming the court should be rare enough to taste sweet.

Hopefully, these guidelines will keep you from being the next “fat kid in the yellow shirt” or “dude in leather coat who got jacked”. Ideally, you should be “fan who celebrated a big win, hooked up with someone cool later at the bar, and came up clean for chlamydia a week later.”

Good luck, and enjoy the tournaments!