
Because someone far more relevant than me will probably live-blog the games on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (Friday I'll be sneaking out of work early to see which puns Jim Nantz can employ in his coverage of the Raleigh first-round games; Sunday I'll be drunk), I'm gonna take a stab at evaluating the Big East's 8 entrants and their chances in the Dance. Since I like building towards a stunning climax (ask your mom. Zing!), I'll go worst to first, like the '91 Twins.
8. Villanova
Quote from an e-mail my friend sent me: "I can't wait to see Clemson make Jay Wright eat sh*t for lunch." Indeed, neither can I. James Mays is gonna have a field day in that game. Honestly, how the hell is this team even here?
7. Notre Dame
People will disagree heavily with this one, if anyone actually reads my posts. Here's my logic: I hate Notre Dame, and not just for the people (I actually like some of the people). My issue is with the fact that everyone wants to get on their jock, but they have shown absolutely no ability to beat a more athletic team. I'm not necessarily saying that G-Mason is a more athletic team, but I think Mason's about to break off a mini-run that will inspire talk of '06 (let's hope Verne is doing that Regional), and I see ND biting it in Round One.
6. Marquette
Tom Crean terrifies me; I think he should have been cast as McGreevey in Little Children. The mascot makes me make up sweating (it's a vengeful eagle). I also think Billy Gillespie pretty much lives life like this: hoops, crap, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, "french fried po-taters," hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, brush teeth, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, VividEntertainment.Com, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, sleep. He'll prepare for this one well. Golden Eagles, goodbye - Round 1.
5. WVU
I want to believe that a Huggins/Coach K rematch from the '98 Great Alaska Shootout in the second round will give K another early exit. I really want to believe this, desperately, like a child wants to believe in the Tooth Fairy. However, Duke will probably pull it out; Joe Alexander would have to go ape for them to lose, and I don't think he has enough primate in him. So, the Mountaineers will end the Kevin O'Neill Era Part 1 on a down note, but then send Huggy Bear into a shame spiral with a second-round loss.
4. Connecticut/Pittsburgh
I got both these cats rolling out in the Sweet 16, despite everyone's upset special of San Diego over UConn and everyone getting on Pittsburgh's jock because of how they rolled Georgetown in the BE Finals (during that game, intoxicated, I told my friend about six times, "Man, DeJuan Blair is a LOAD down there, isn't he?") Connecticut vs. UCLA could be one of those deceptively interesting games, where you assume UCLA wins by 15, but really, it's close all the way - Thabeet can kinda body Love for a while, and Price might be able to run with Collison for at least a half. Pittsburgh vs. Memphis (or Mississippi State, if you believe in the power of Jamont) will be close too, but Memphis has so many weapons, even though Joey Dorsey is a complete biatch and could get pushed around by my load-bearing friend Mr. Blair.
2. Georgetown
Is anyone else projecting a Georgetown vs. Vanderbilt Elite Eight game? The ultimate revenge match for the Jeff Green travel no-call? I think it could happen. Kansas chokes it more than a 12 year old with a Jenna Jameson poster he found in a trash can, so you figure they go down to Clemson or Vandy in the Round of One-Six. Georgetown may have issues with Davidson/Gonzaga, but if they get by that winner, Wisconsin shouldn't be tremendously hard (but man, talk about a boring-as-hell game). What if, for the purposes of this study, Shan Foster just gets white hot from three and drops 40 on the Hoyas, becoming the new D-Wade (for his performance in a Regional Final) in the process? What if Bill Raftery just yells "JAMBALYA!" for no reason during said game? Oh man, what a Dance this will be.
1. Louisville
Look, UNC is good. They're very good, in fact, and their best player has a motor that doesn't quit. But, Roy Williams is a horribly overrated coach. If Bruce Weber had turned off the three-bomb green light in that '05 final, there's a legitimate chance Williams still wouldn't have a ring.
Last year in the Elite Eight, what happened? His team can't score for six minutes, Tyler is completely out of the game, and the dude doesn't call a timeout? WHAT? That's good coaching? Nay. He will choke himself out of his Tournament at some point - it could even come against Indiana. DJ White on Tyler? Gordon playing to get himself a Top 4 pick? You never know.
Tennessee is a joke too. How long has Chris Lofton been in college? Did he play with Allan Houston? Remember 2 years ago when they needed a last second shot to beat Winthrop? Might happen again in their 2/15 game. My point is, Louisville - despite entering the Tournament on a down note of two straight losses - will win the East, thus advancing farther than any other Big East team.
Man, it should be fun watching this blow up. STF 4-Eva, and I'll see you when Scottie Reynolds wins Tournament MOP and I'm back here to eat my hair pie in public.