Ranking the Big East Chances in the Dance

Because someone far more relevant than me will probably live-blog the games on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday (Friday I'll be sneaking out of work early to see which puns Jim Nantz can employ in his coverage of the Raleigh first-round games; Sunday I'll be drunk), I'm gonna take a stab at evaluating the Big East's 8 entrants and their chances in the Dance. Since I like building towards a stunning climax (ask your mom. Zing!), I'll go worst to first, like the '91 Twins.

8. Villanova

Quote from an e-mail my friend sent me: "I can't wait to see Clemson make Jay Wright eat sh*t for lunch." Indeed, neither can I. James Mays is gonna have a field day in that game. Honestly, how the hell is this team even here?

7. Notre Dame

People will disagree heavily with this one, if anyone actually reads my posts. Here's my logic: I hate Notre Dame, and not just for the people (I actually like some of the people). My issue is with the fact that everyone wants to get on their jock, but they have shown absolutely no ability to beat a more athletic team. I'm not necessarily saying that G-Mason is a more athletic team, but I think Mason's about to break off a mini-run that will inspire talk of '06 (let's hope Verne is doing that Regional), and I see ND biting it in Round One.

6. Marquette

Tom Crean terrifies me; I think he should have been cast as McGreevey in Little Children. The mascot makes me make up sweating (it's a vengeful eagle). I also think Billy Gillespie pretty much lives life like this: hoops, crap, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, "french fried po-taters," hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, brush teeth, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, VividEntertainment.Com, hoops, hoops, hoops, hoops, sleep. He'll prepare for this one well. Golden Eagles, goodbye - Round 1.

5. WVU

I want to believe that a Huggins/Coach K rematch from the '98 Great Alaska Shootout in the second round will give K another early exit. I really want to believe this, desperately, like a child wants to believe in the Tooth Fairy. However, Duke will probably pull it out; Joe Alexander would have to go ape for them to lose, and I don't think he has enough primate in him. So, the Mountaineers will end the Kevin O'Neill Era Part 1 on a down note, but then send Huggy Bear into a shame spiral with a second-round loss.

4. Connecticut/Pittsburgh

I got both these cats rolling out in the Sweet 16, despite everyone's upset special of San Diego over UConn and everyone getting on Pittsburgh's jock because of how they rolled Georgetown in the BE Finals (during that game, intoxicated, I told my friend about six times, "Man, DeJuan Blair is a LOAD down there, isn't he?") Connecticut vs. UCLA could be one of those deceptively interesting games, where you assume UCLA wins by 15, but really, it's close all the way - Thabeet can kinda body Love for a while, and Price might be able to run with Collison for at least a half. Pittsburgh vs. Memphis (or Mississippi State, if you believe in the power of Jamont) will be close too, but Memphis has so many weapons, even though Joey Dorsey is a complete biatch and could get pushed around by my load-bearing friend Mr. Blair.

2. Georgetown

Is anyone else projecting a Georgetown vs. Vanderbilt Elite Eight game? The ultimate revenge match for the Jeff Green travel no-call? I think it could happen. Kansas chokes it more than a 12 year old with a Jenna Jameson poster he found in a trash can, so you figure they go down to Clemson or Vandy in the Round of One-Six. Georgetown may have issues with Davidson/Gonzaga, but if they get by that winner, Wisconsin shouldn't be tremendously hard (but man, talk about a boring-as-hell game). What if, for the purposes of this study, Shan Foster just gets white hot from three and drops 40 on the Hoyas, becoming the new D-Wade (for his performance in a Regional Final) in the process? What if Bill Raftery just yells "JAMBALYA!" for no reason during said game? Oh man, what a Dance this will be.

1. Louisville

Look, UNC is good. They're very good, in fact, and their best player has a motor that doesn't quit. But, Roy Williams is a horribly overrated coach. If Bruce Weber had turned off the three-bomb green light in that '05 final, there's a legitimate chance Williams still wouldn't have a ring.

Last year in the Elite Eight, what happened? His team can't score for six minutes, Tyler is completely out of the game, and the dude doesn't call a timeout? WHAT? That's good coaching? Nay. He will choke himself out of his Tournament at some point - it could even come against Indiana. DJ White on Tyler? Gordon playing to get himself a Top 4 pick? You never know.

Tennessee is a joke too. How long has Chris Lofton been in college? Did he play with Allan Houston? Remember 2 years ago when they needed a last second shot to beat Winthrop? Might happen again in their 2/15 game. My point is, Louisville - despite entering the Tournament on a down note of two straight losses - will win the East, thus advancing farther than any other Big East team.

Man, it should be fun watching this blow up. STF 4-Eva, and I'll see you when Scottie Reynolds wins Tournament MOP and I'm back here to eat my hair pie in public.

Man on the Street at the Big East Tournament

Here's a little something to start your weekend off right. Debut video from the best damn conference tournament going right now - the Big East. Find out what fans think about... everything.

The Big East Tournament Breakdown

I was going to write a post before Saturday's Louisville vs. Georgetown tilt, and then I got lazy, and went on a series of bad Match.Com dates, and I realized in the back of my mind, surrounded by a ridiculous amount of bitterness, that the game didn't really matter. Sure, as a Georgetown alum, I wanted back-to-back Big East regular season crowns, but is the difference between a 1 and a 2 at MSG, especially when the other school would be from Kentucky and not have a strong alum base, really that important? Naw. Anyway, one of the most storied conference tournaments opens Wednesday. With a limited dosage of Family Guy references, let's overanalyze this bad boy, shall we?

WEDNESDAY

VILLANOVA VS. 'CUSE (NOON): I love Scottie Reynolds as much as the next guy, and Jay Wright's devilish handsomeness bewitches me just like the next man. Still, it's March, it's MSG, and it's Boeheim. How can you possibly pick 'Nova? PICK: SYRACUSE

WEST VIRGINIA VS. PROVIDENCE (2pm): Providence might be coming in on a little high, having beaten UConn last Thursday night. Still, it's, uh, Providence. Bands go there when their bus breaks down, not by choice. Morgantown isn't much better as a pop culture fixure, but I'll take Huggs in his WVU Big East Tourney debut to win at least one. PICK: WVU.

PITT VS. CINCY (7pm): The real key to this game is, can I use morning session tickets to sneak back in? To quote Rick Pitino, Kenny Satterfield ain't walking through that door. Pittsburgh's been hurt by scrapes and bruises this season, but they'll get out of this one with a win. PICK: PITT.

MARQUETTE VS. SETON HALL (9pm): My first three picks have been boring, and conventional. I think Marquette's a good team, although Tom Crean looks like he should have been in the movie "Hard Candy." Bobby Gonzo is a fiery son of a gun, Brian Laing might be ready to put his name in lights, and as a result, I'm taking Hall here. PICK: SHU.

THURSDAY

GEORGETOWN VS. 'CUSE: This game scares the living crap out of me, because 'Cuse always has Georgetown's number with that vaunted zone. Boeheim knows he needs a deep Tournament run to get off the bubble, so he'll have his dudes fired up. It's gonna be close, but for the sake of my weekend plans, I'll take Georgetown in a thrilla. PICK: GEORGETOWN.

CONNECTICUT VS. WVU: A.J. Price should be BE Player of the Year. Jeff Adrien is nasty - and talk about devilishly handsome! Thabeet will subject us to a bunch of "Tanzania" graphics. UConn will roll WVU in the process. PICK: UCONN.

LOUISVILLE VS. PITT: This one should be the best game of Thursday. Dixon is an underrated coach, and he loves to try and beat coaches with better reps. Pitt will wanna prove their early Top 10 ranking wasn't a fluke, and current media darling Louisville would be a good foe to topple as evidence. Still, the Cardinals have way too many dudes, so I'll take 'em. PICK: LOUISVILLE.

NOTRE DAME VS. SETON HALL: My friend tells me last night, "I'm terrified of ND." I found this statement interesting, because Georgetown utterly rolled them during the regular season. Harangody, to me, is the biggest disappointment return on potential promise since Jessica Simpson's film career (why can't someone find an appropriate role for her?). Still, since I went out on a limb with Seton Hall even getting to this game, I gotta take ND here. PICK: NOTRE DAME.

FRIDAY

GEORGETOWN VS. UCONN: This is where the dream dies. Even though UConn's great season should be NEXT year, I think they have enough dudes to get by GU in the 7pm Friday night game. Recall this: Georgetown beat them this year in DC only because their 7 foot tall center had to bury a three pointer late. Calhoun comes strapped (bad choice of words) for Big East games, and the lights are always brighter - and the arena full of more soused alums - on Friday. PICK: UCONN

NOTRE DAME VS. LOUISVILLE: This is where the Harangody Proxy completely falls apart, and David Padgett hands him his lunch - in a flaming bag of feces. PICK: LOUISVILLE.

SATURDAY NIGHT

UCONN VS. LOUISVILLE: I'm going out on a limb here and taking UConn to win the whole kit and kaboodle, slotting them into a 4 seed in Memphis' bracket, and creating an entertaining Sweet 16 game between Calhoun and Calipari in three weeks. This one should be a pretty good - let's be honest, there's no way this prediction is holding up, and somehow Seton Hall and 'Cuse are playing for the ring - and I'm taking Jeff Adrien to be the man here, capturing a Tourney MVP award that will pale in comparison to Caron Butler's in terms of "inspiring stories the New York Post can run the next day." PICK: UCONN.

I'll be back Wednesday with some nice ("I like!") Big East content. I'll be at Hotel Penn at 11am, and while I can't say I'll be live-blogging from there, I'll have something good for you bastards, I promise.

STF Big East Report 2/28/2008

Cool story of the past week: I get my STF t-shirt in the mail from the leadership of this here site, and immediately, I wear it to the gym. I'm on the treadmill, doing a hearty 5.3 (it's basically like walking a little fast, but it hurts), and the girl next to me, a blond I'd evaluate superficially at the 6.7 - 7.4 range, looks over at me and smiles, just a smidge. This has never really happened to me, so I halfway trip on the edge of the treadmill and almost bite it straight backwards to the vulcanized floor. I regain my balance, with "Flashing Lights" blasting in my ears, as she says, "I've seen that site."

And that was basically the extent of the conversation. Still, I love hope. Sweet, sweet hope.

Now onto the Big East.

TEAM WITH THE BEST WEEK: LOUISVILLE
The last time Louisville lost was January 28th; Johan Santana was still contemplating throwing to Joe Mauer for another season, and a different Castro was running Cuba. In that time, they've waxed Marquette, Georgetown, 'Cuse, and Pittsburgh, and every mid-level CBB analyst in America seems to anoint them as a sleeper team for a Final Four run. My take, as if it matters: I love Pitino, and think he's about 18 times the coach Roy Williams is, but gets about 3/4 of the credit. I think they're athletic, and they're going to enter the NCAAs hot (they may win the BE Tournament). Still, I'm not about to ride Padgett's baloney pony like the rest of the CSTV/ESPN 2pm Saturday/RayCom Sports gang. He's good, but he's not super. He'll get eaten alive in a competitive Sweet 16 game.

PLAYER WITH THE BEST WEEK: JEFF ADRIEN
Adrien got runner up status in this category towards the beginning of the season. Right now, he's blowing up. Now, granted, his biggest game of the season numbers-wise took place against Rutgers, which is like saying you scored the Prom Queen when she was on rufies (too soon?). However, you just know Adrien is gonna have a monster performance in New York, and him and A.J. Price are clicking like Brian and Peter, Lindsay and one of the eight Italians she slept with on New Year's Eve, or T-Boz and Takeo. Is it me, or does he kinda look like Rudy Gay? (Not Takeo - Adrien. Man, I'm terrible with modifiers)

TEAM WITH THE WORST WEEK: PITTSBURGH
Remember when these guys were Top 10 material? They've dropped 3 of their last 4, mostly to ranked teams within the league - Louisville, Marquette, and ND. They're 8-7 in the league right now. While most likely they make the Dance, let's say they enter as a six/seven. I say Six West, and they bite it to the 11. If they get a 5, they're definitely going down. A 12 always beats a 5 somewhere, right? (Note: I got killed two years ago picking three 12 over 5 games. I'm a moron)
THE SKED
TONIGHT - Notre Dame vs. Louisville. I absolutely hate Notre Dame, and cringe when people say "they might make a run." Harangody is slow and gets too much credit. Mike Brey looks like a snake oil salesman. I dunno. Is that anti-Catholic?

SATURDAY - Georgetown vs. Marquette. This is exactly the type of game GU should win, because Marquette's presence at the 5 is kinda suspect. That means it's exactly the type of game they'll likely lose.

SATURDAY - Seton Hall vs. St. John's. "Hey Norm, don't you wish NYC had more talent to choose from? It totally screws us." "Yep, Bobby, you're soooo right."

MONDAY - Pittsburgh vs. WVU. If this was football, I'd care more.

GENERALLY IRRELEVANT FAMILY GUY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

Intensity. That's going to be the theme on March 8th, when Georgetown and Louisville lock horns presumably for the 1 seed in the Big East Tournament. Louisville's already taken down Georgetown once this season, in the famed Pitino-Changes-Suits-But-Doesn't-Grope-Erin-When-She-Asks-Him-About-It game, but this time'll be in DC. Not that the No. 1 vs the No. 2 in the BE Tournament really matters (ya both get a bye), but it'll be a humdinger nonetheless. Just like we imagine Roman's house is at any given time.

The STF Big East Report: What of A.J. Price?

I could think of a witty intro, I 'spose, but right now my back hurts and a girl at my job who unfortunately has a "y" in her name where any self-respecting person might place an "i" is bothering me, so I'm just gonna jump right in, like Gene Simmons at an orgy:

TEAM WITH THE BEST WEEK: LOUISVILLE

The logic here says UConn, but I picked UConn last week, and I'm trying to maintain some semblance of originality in these postings. Louisville actually hasn't lost since a loss to those Huskies; while their Georgetown victory was covered in my last post (much to my personal chagrin), they've run the table since then, including an impressive victory over 'Cuse on Big Monday (per se, that victory wasn't "impressive" - 'Cuse isn't necessarily a lock for the postseason; but with the talent they have, they are capable of surprising bigger and better teams, so I was as glad as a Hoya fan can be to see the red and white come out with this one).

TEAM WITH THE WORST WEEK: RUTGERS

This is a joke. Why even mention them anymore? They're 2-12 in conference. You know what's even sadder? I accidentally spent a portion of my 21st birthday weekend at Rutgers, before Schiano made them relevant again (my birthday's in the fall, so you got a bunch of shopping days left). It was brutal, because I was at a conference basically designed for nerds, trying to pretend not to be one while clearly, every mounting piece of evidence around me said I was (and still does). Anyway, I wanted to pick the Knights here so that for the remainder of the BE's regular season, I can pick a team who is hurting their Tournament stock.

PLAYER WITH THE BEST WEEK: A.J. PRICE

We need to discuss Price's legitimacy for Big East Player of the Year here. Everyone wants to get on Harangody's jock, which is all well and good (I'm sure Harangody's jock is an enjoyable place to be, certainly moreso than former Irish baller Troy Murphy's). But here's the thing - the major win separating ND from the top of the Big East is the Georgetown game (holla!), and Hibbert ate him up in that one. This is the same Hibbert who basically disappeared in the Memphis loss, among other games. So, right there, for me at least, Harangody is out. Hibbert, as noted, has been inconsistent; a "POY" has to be consistent, so he's gone. Price: 15 points and 6 dimes a game, maturing before his time, and right this second I'm expecting UConn vs. GU / UConn vs. UL as the Saturday night 9pm tip in a few weeks at The Garden (depending on the brackets). My vote, as if anyone gives a half-ass what I think, goes to Price.

THE SKED

Pittsburgh vs. ND - Thursday, 2/21: Could be a good chance for Pitt to crawl their way back to relevance.
'Cuse vs. ND - Sunday, 2/24: I think 'Cuse is taking this one, giving more ballast to my anti-Harangody argument.
Marquette vs. 'Nova - Monday, 2/25: At least we don't have to debate who's more attractive between Jay Wright and Tom Crean, eh?

GENERALLY IRRELEVANT FAMILY GUY QUOTE OF THE WEEK

"Those are some bad roaches" - Brian
"I blame the schools." - Hotel Worker

Indeed. The more I've really thought about this, the quality of the Big East this year is somewhat unacceptable. Georgetown lost Green, and Pitt's had injuries (as did UL at the beginning), and granted - Connecticut is peaking. But has anyone looked at a map recently? The Big East is situated in one of the most fertile recruiting grounds in America. You ever been to a pickup game in New York? (I used to buy fake IDs by the West 4th courts, FYI) These klds can ball. Shouldn't more end up at SJU, or SHU, etc? Why do I feel like all the ballers are residing in the West? Why does that Biggie lyric remain locked in my head - "That don't mean a (expletive) can't rest in the West, see some nice breast in the west?" Did I just equate Kevin Love to Ricky Roe from Blue Chips? I think I did. Still, it seems to me the quality of ball in the Big East should be even higher than it is, or at the very least, the gap between top and bottom should be more of a thin line. Hmm. I'm likely making absolutely no sense. If that's the case, forgive me - I've been up since 6am. If you too think Bobby Gonzo should be grabbing better perimeter guys than he's got, well, holla.

COMING IN MARCH: THE BIG EAST TOURNAMENT 'LIVE BLOG'

COMING IN LATE MARCH: TALES OF VEGAS FROM SWEET SIXTEEN WEEKEND

The Big East Report: Back from Hibernation

Here's my deal, insofar as a person's deal can be summed up in cyberspace for a bunch of people who've never met him. I was at the Super Bowl for work for about 9 days - although I didn't set foot inside the actual stadium on game day - and as a result, I missed some Big East reporting for this here burgeoning site. Then, I came home and as a result of climate change and my proclivity for drinking to avoid reality, I got sick (I view myself as like Peter King in this regard, only I don't think Tony Romo's smile is that beautiful). So, I've missed about two point five weeks of Big East content on here, and you know what?

The Big East is still screwed up, and not really that great, and no one has any idea what's going on. Ech, let's roll it from here:

Team with the Best Time Since I Last Got Off My Fat Arse and Wrote: UConn

18-5 overall, 7-3 in conference. 17th in the nation and fourth in the Big East. Doesn't seem tremendously impressive on the surface, but consider 'dis: the Huskies haven't lost since a bizzarre slip-up to Providence on January 17th (that's almost a full month at this point). Before that, Georgetown - who's still No. 1 in the conference, albeit shakily - needed an entire game and a three-ball from their center to beat them. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Thabeet looks like an absolute monster, Jeff Adrien is blossoming, and overall this team is arriving about 9 months ahead of schedule. You can imagine Calhoun has been telling a lot of local media how "wicked pissah" this is.

Team with the Worst Time Since I took to closing hotel bars in AZ: Georgetown

This pains me to say, but imagine you're me for a second. It's Big East Championship Weekend, you got any number of possible one-night flings in town, and you're just operating on the cardinal rule of feminine coercion: "Always keep 'em happy." You think I want Georgetown alums seeing games against anyone in conference at MSG right now? We needed an entire game to beat Connecticut before they got hot as hell, we lost to Louisville, we needed an entire game and a miracle to take down WVU, we deserved to beat 'Nova but the fashion in which it happened helped an otherwise slow sports day along, and overall, we're good, but we're not... great ("But what is great, sir?"). I don't usually get nervous on February 12th, except about the broader state of my life going into another V-Day utterly alone and hopeless, but I'm pretty nervous about GU right now. And my prospects for Big East Weekend.

Player Who's Hot Like Fire Right Now: Haseem Thabeet, UConn

Rematch of the 2004 title game - did anyone even realize that? - over the weekend, and Thabeet goes for 24 (points), 15 (rebounds), and 6 (blocks) against GaTech. I'm not saying Tech should be confused with other members of the ACC at all, but that's a ridiculous line. Even when Thabeet doesn't score a lot (six in a win over 'Cuse last week), he does other things - like blocking 7 shots. That keeps the Orange's giddy frosh out of the paint, I'll tell you that much. "You know what my problem is, Lois? I LOVE TOO MUCH!" Thabeet says that, in a wacky crickjaw-type dialect, to Jeff Adrien daily. He loves too much. Loves to send shots flying every which way too much.

(I would put Harangody here, because 'conventional wisdom' says he should be BE Player of the Year. I'll buy that, but he was owned by Hibbert in their one game against each other so far, and Hibbert has been owned by other schools, so I can't really put Harangody up there. I was sold on Seton Hall guys like Lainge for a while too - what the hell happened to them? Oh yea. Reality.)

Appointment Viewing: An Upcoming Schedule

Wednesday - Notre Dame vs. Connecticut. "Hey Kyle, you got any pot I could bum?"

Friday - Pittsburgh vs. Marquette. "How in the hell are we both ranked?"

Monday - Syracuse vs. Louisville. "Boeheim's wearing an orange suit. Oh crap, no, he just puked himself."

Generally Irrelevant Family Guy Quote of the Week

"Stay off the toad now." - Lando Griffin / the entire community of Quahog

There's been an interesting conversation recently about how good the Big East is this year. Depending on your definition of "good," I'd tend to disagree. The BE will get a bunch of teams into the dance, and that's important, but how many of these squads can do damage? Starting from the top, check it out - (1) I'm going to Vegas for Sweet Sixteen weekend because of Georgetown, and I've recently become nervous they won't be joining me through the melodic strains of Dick Enberg's voice once I get there (at least I'll have other things to distract me, like hitting on 20); (2) Notre Dame is like a generic Christmas present - nice package, and once you open it, you're intrigued by it for a while, and you might even tell your friends about it, but what the hell, damned if that thing's not in someone else's birthday pile within 18 months; (3) Louisville has a great coach, and the Padgett story is inspiring, but do you really see them hanging around with a good No. 1 seed as a 4 in the Sweet 16?; (4) Pittsburgh's only street cred for me at this point comes from the fact that they beat Duke, and I'm reluctant to even give them that, since I don't think that highly of Duke either; (5) I like Marquette because if I ever finish this screenplay I'm writing, I'd like to cast Tom Crean as the wacky father of the girl I fall in love with. Other than that, are you kidding me? As a five in the West, they lose to a 12.

So, stay off the toad. The Big East might load the dance, but I'm not thinking anyone's reaching the RiverWalk.

STF Big East Report 1.23.08

I designed a regular posting date of Tuesday for the Big East Report so that I could instantly react to the events of “Big Monday,” the 7pm game of which almost always features a Big East battle. Then, as an off-shoot of my inability to maintain any normalcy or continuity in my depraved existence, I keep posting on Wednesdays and Thursdays and all this crap. Additionally, I just found a site where you can design your own pie charts, and that’s easily the best way to throw co-workers under the bus without them knowing, so that’s been a huge distraction. Anyway, without further ado, The Big East:

Team With the Best Week: West Virginia
The fastest way to heal the Coach Rod scars? Huggy Bear starting to win, and creating a dangerous enough team to make some upset-minded noise in March. Check this: the Mountaineers have won three in a row to rise to second in the conference behind GU, in the process knocking off an underrated South Florida team. They still have the win over Marquette, which seems kinda less important now, but still. Georgetown awaits on Saturday (I’ll be watching from a bar in Scottsdale, AZ), and they still have two tangos with Pittsburgh, but if they grab a 5 or 6 seed in the Dance, they might have the cajones (and the coaching) to stun a weak 3 in the Round of 32.

Player of the Week: Deonta Vaughn, G, Cincinnati
In my first edition of this report, I utterly threw Cincy in front of the train. Turns out they’re not so bad (they currently sit at third in conference). I have no respect or faith that they can do anything in March, either at MSG or the Dance, but I’m impressed by this Vaughn kid, a sophomore who dropped 14 with 4 dimes in their three-point win over Pittsburgh this week. According to his Cincy Bearcats profile, he has five brothers and three sisters – sounds like a bad Dennis Quaid movie – and majors in criminal justice, which I would have majored in if I had any ability to wrap my head around statistics. The team site also notes he’s “very good off the pick and roll,” which seems a bit editorial to me, but eh.

Team with the Worst Week: Marquette
Bad week for Wisconsin overall. The Eagles have dropped their last two – let’s not even talk about the current fate of DWade and the Miami Heat – by a combined 36 points to Louisville, a team that should be good but isn’t really (even with Padgett) and Connecticut, a team that won’t be good until the middle of next season. These guys were once ranked No. 11, and I was telling site editor/overlord Marco that they might be a “sleeper” to win the Big East. Now I just feel stupid, like the guy in my film class who, when prompted for a list of genres, shouted out “Erotica!”

Games to Watch:

Saturday – Connecticut vs. Indiana. Although Eric Gordon won’t be in school long, this could be a preview of an awesome 2009 Sweet Sixteen game.

Saturday – Georgetown vs. West Virginia. I’m shaking over this one, but that might be the alcohol poisoning.

Sunday – Cincy vs. Seton Hall. I don’t know why SHU intrigues me (they’re 2-3 in conference), but they do, and so does Cincy, so at least I’ll be intrigued on Sunday. That might be the soft-core porn, though.

Generally Irrelevant Family Guy Quote of the Week

Brian: You’re drunk.
Stewie: You’re sexy.

Big Monday this week is Louisville vs. UConn. The above seems like the potential pre-game exchange between Calhoun and Pitino, no?

The Befuddling Big East

What I found most shocking about Georgetown's comeback win against Syracuse wasn't that the Hoyas were able to beat the Orange by only making one field goal in overtime, but that Gtown was the first Big East team in weeks not to blow a chance to take command of the league. Yes, it's been a mighty turbulent year in the Big East already and we haven't even gotten through January yet. Just look at some of the teams that blew golden opportunities for wins in just the last week….

- Marquette, with a chance at a Top 5 ranking and top billing Big East following the Gtown loss to Pitt, got slaughtered at Louisville and UConn.

- Louisville appeared to have righted the ship with the blowout win over Marquette. But instead, the newly healthy Cardinals let a second half lead slip away at Seton Hall.

- Pitt was proclaimed "back" by every pundit following the impressive beatdown of Georgetown. Of course, the Panthers went out and lost Cincinnati, which everyone in the big East appears to be doing these days

- Even Syracuse had a golden opportunity to get back into the Big East race, but the Orange, leading with five minutes remaining, let games to Villanova and Georgetown slip away.


Similar puzzling results by Notre Dame (blowout at Gtown, Villanova (lost at Cincy) and West Virginia (losses to ND and Louisville) leave absolutely no clue (outside of Georgetown) as to who will be contending for the Big East crown at the end of the season. Basically everyone outside of South Florida, St. John' and Rutgers are still in play for the Big East crown. Hell, Cincinnati and DePaul, with losses to Belmont and North Carolina A&T in hand, are technically third and fourth in the conference as we speak. 16-team parity at it's finest!

Brandan Wright All-Stars: Big East

Brandan Wright was one of the most talented players to wear a Tar Heel uniform in the post-Dean Smith era. A phenom out of Nashville, he hit 67% of his shots in Chapel Hill, and he even developed a mid-range jumper and hook shot prior to declaring himself eligible for the NBA draft following his freshman year.

But do you know who shoots better free throws than Wright? This guy:



Yes, despite all the tools in his arsenal, his one true weakness was when he got to the line. This is dedicated to the great players of college basketball who seem to be lacking when 15 feet of air is the sole object separating them from the basket. These...are the Brandan Wright All-Stars of the Big East.

Center: Casiem Drummond, Villanova. Roy Hibbert would have been a near-obvious choice, but there are a few centers in the Big East with higher field goal percentages, and many with worse free throw percentages. Drummond is an integral bench player for the Wildcats, tallying nearly 8 points and 9 rebounds per game and shooting 58% from the field before an injury sidelined him in December. (He qualifies for this team because he has since returned.) However, at 27.8% from the line, he is the team's worst free throw shooter.

Forward: Vernon Macklin, Georgetown. If Hibbert is bad from the free throw line, then Macklin is simply God-awful. Currently, his field goal percentage (60.0) is more than twice his free throw percentage, an astoundingly bad 27.1%.

Forward: Arinze Onauku, Syracuse. Thanks to Jameson of CuseAdelphia for suggesting this one to me. Onuaku is probably the best Brandan Wright archetype we have seen so far. A talented 6-9 Junior coming back from knee surgery, Onauku is averaging nearly 14 points per game and shooting more than 68% from the field for the Orange. However, he is the team's worst free throw shooter, making only 44.9% of his attempts from the stripe.

Guard: Jabari Currie, DePaul. It's difficult to find good guards for the Brandan Wright All-Star team. Most guards have a free throw shooting percentages far above their field goal percentages (either because they're sharpshooters or because they chuck up more bad threes than most people can bear to watch). Jabari Currie, however, more than fits the necessary requirements.He ranks 12th in the Big East in 3 point percentage (44.5% beyond the arc, equivalent in points to shooting 67% from two point range) among players who average at least 2 attempts per game. However, he has shot 37.5% from the stripe thus far this season.

Guard: Jamaul Warren, Cincinatti. Jeremiah Rivers was almost put in this spot; the Hoyas get a reprieve from having multiple players on this roster thanks to some slightly deeper research. Despite not shooting the ball very well, at the stripe Warren is almost comically bad for a guard, making only 30.5% of his undefended shots.

(Dis)honorable mention: Hibbert and Rivers (Georgetown), Dwight Burke (Marquette), Rick Jackson (Syracuse).

The STF Big East Report 1.17: The Northeast Corridor - Getting Nasty

I’m a little late with this (“I’m a child of divorce. Sue me.” – American Psycho) but the action in the Big East has been getting a little more interesting and intense of late, courtesy of a series of choke jobs by my beloved alma mater. Let’s delve into this content, shall we?

Team With the Best Week: Pittsburgh
No other real contender here. Pitt’s 15-2 overall, and 3-1 in conference, but because they shattered the collective dreams of Hoya Hoops on Monday night, they’re currently leading the Big East. I knew Georgetown was going to lose that game – we looked terrible against UConn on Saturday, even though the final Hibbert shot was pretty amazing (as a side note, I know so many people who texted me “AMAZING!” when, in fact, we played awful; let’s just note that Sapp and Wallace were a combined 4 for 16) and we were on the road. Still, Keith Benjamin comes out of the irrelevancy closet to the tune of 18 points, DeJuan Blair continues his underrated frosh campaign with 15 points and 9 boards, and Jamie Dixon is looking more polished each season. Pittsburgh played GU well last year, but unless Hoya Paranoia starts getting some clear looks at the basket off the back door cut, a potential rematch at MSG in March could go the same way this one did: to the Steel City.

Player of the Week: Keith Benjamin, Pittsburgh
I probably shouldn’t have referenced Benjamin above, because it makes it less relevant that I’m throwing him down here, but his performance Monday was the kind of things Pitt fans (those battery-heaving bastards) have been waiting for since, well, forever. He almost put a “two” in the tens place of his score sheet Monday night, and you half-expected another seminal “Send it in Jerome!” moment to emerge from the broadcast crew on some of his finer moments. Alas, it didn’t. I’d give Jeff Adrien the runner-up award here. I had never actually seen (i.e. looked at, not “watched play”) Adrien before Saturday. He’s an intense-looking dude. He might be able to take Patrick Willis in a fight.

Team with the Worst Week: Georgetown
This is just depressing, not only because every paragraph of this entry has been about one game (I feel like Lou Dobbs with some free licks at a Mexican), but because I make slightly above minimum wage and live with my mom, I don’t think Georgetown has really been very successful at “basketball” OR “molding its graduates into something” as of late. Seriously, though – when you got a 7-2 guy needing to hit A THREE BALL to win a game, is that good basketball? No. Highlight reel basketball? Of course, but the difference between highlight-reel basketball and good basketball is why Shawn Kemp isn’t in Springfield.

Games to Watch:
Notre Dame vs. Georgetown (Saturday, 1/19) – Catholic Girls. Giggidy Giggidy!

Louisville vs. Seton Hall (1/19) – The winner of this one might be the sneaky team for the back half of the Big East season. Or, they might just suck.

Marquette vs. UConn (1/20) – Think anyone will be watching this over the Conference Championships? A team from New England and a team from Wisconsin? Ha.

Georgetown vs. ‘Cuse (1/21) – I’m a huge homer.

Generally Irrelevant Family Guy Quote of the Week

Lois: “Why don’t you go play in the other room, Stewie?”
Stewie: “Why don’t you burn in hell?”

Rivalries are starting to heat up on the eastern seaboard as well. Georgetown vs. ND is pretty strong – back in 2002, those guys played an epic 4 OT game paced by Chris Thomas (I don’t know where he is now, but wherever he is, I bet he shares a room with Rumeal Robinson) and Michael Sweetney.

Georgetown vs. ‘Cuse is even more intense – I once was stumbling home drunk in college, passed a kid on Georgetown’s campus in a ‘Cuse sweatshirt, and proceeded to begin an exchange that got my ass kicked. While no one will be watching Marquette and the Huskies on Sunday, that’s a burgeoning rivalry as well. Lois and Stewie, personified. I was trying to work the “Joe, I forgot how big you are / Me too” exchange in here, but had nothing to roll with. I blame the falafel I just inhaled.

Big East Report 1.9.08: A Day Late, and a Dollar Short

In the immortal words of Mase, “Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.” It’s a little presumptious, and a smidge self-important, that I’m singing those timeless lyrics to myself, but sue me (by the way, in that song, when Mase says girls “wanna give him sosa, but I’m like don’ try,” is he referring to anal HGH injections?). It’s been a decently busy time in the Big East since we last appeared on STF, so let’s recap:


Team With the Best Month: Notre Dame
I can’t pick Georgetown here, even though their 12-1 overall, 2-0 Big East puts them atop the conference; they lost to Memphis right before Christmas in their only “big time” game so far, a contest that featured as many Roy Hibbert sightings as JD Salinger ones. Notre Dame, meanwhile, is 12-2 (2-0), and has beaten Big 12 sleeper darling Kansas State, as well as Eddie Sutton’s San Fran squad, not to mention West Virginia and Connecticut. The last two don’t sound like much, but it’s still Huggins and Calhoun. Luke Harangody, who looks like Chris Kaman spawned a child with Chunk from The Goonies, is going off to the tune of 18 and 9 a contest. Marko asked me the other week, in one of our porn-centric GMail conversations, “Who’s gonna win this league?” I think he was referring to the Big East, although things are hazy because I was drinking in the middle of the day. Regardless, if Harangody can neutralize Hibbert in a game at MSG, ND might have a surprise shot to win the conference.


Player of the Month: Donte Green, Syracuse
In honor of the return of The Wire for its final season, we’ll take another Baltimore product here (that city has been good to ‘Cuse, no?). Donte Green, a 6-11, 226 pound banger (say this sentence to this point in a Gus Johnson voice and it’s funny), is averaging 19 in the net and 7 off the backboard for a surging (read: outside shot to do damage in the Big East, especially since they traditionally beat Georgetown once a year) Orange team. He’s gone over 20 in four of his last six games. If Jim Boeheim was a character on The Wire, would he be an alcoholic?


Team with the Worst Month: Seton Hall
I was riding this team’s jock harder than Joe Buck on David Eckstein circa 2006 in my earlier reports, and now I’m throwing them completely under the bus. Why? Despite having the leading scorer in the Big East (Brian Laing), the team has lost both its conference games. Granted, one was to ranked Marquette, and the other was to “generally tough” (the most vague compliment I could come up with, given the time parameters) Connecticut, but still, Seton Hall is ready to break through this year – you’d think – but they ain’t showing us anything. They have Pittsburgh this weekend (Big L, likely) and then, while the schedule seemingly gets easier, things will fall apart and tend to shatter, in the words of The Roots. Don’t cry for South Orange. It’s already dead.


Games to Watch:
Saturday, January 12th – Seton Hall vs. Pittsburgh. Your city experiences urban blight too?
Saturday, January 12th – Georgetown vs. UConn. I knew yer daddy, boy.
Saturday, January 12th – Marquette vs. ND. Catholic girls are easy, brah.
Monday, January 14th – Pittsburgh vs. Georgetown. Aaron Gray just stopped convulsing from last year’s Big East title game.


Generally Irrelevant Family Guy Quote of the Week
(I’ve also been watching a lot of Law and Order: SVU recently, so I might need to add a concept for that)

“Joe: I uh I never picked up an illegal alien at Home Depot to take home and choke me while I touch myself.

Quagmire: Oh come on!”

There’s not a lot to do in New Brunswick, NJ when you’re 0-2 in conference, 8-7 overall. Maybe the Scarlet Knights are taking a page from the ol’ Giggidy Giggidy playbook. Could I get sued for saying that? Probably. It couldn’t be worse than the one time I actually partied at Rutgers (2001). I did karaoke to Madonna’s “Like a Prayer” with a girl who would probably call herself “medium build” on EHarmony. Around midnight, I was noted to remark, “What the hell am I doing in New Brunswick?” It’s a question that can haunt a man to his grave.

Big East Conference Report - 12.11.07

'Ello, round-ball heads. Time for another look at the wacky, zany, and generally extremely predictable Big East through December 11th (Rider Strong's birthday, if you haven't checked out Wikipedia yet today).

Team of the Week
I went with Pittsburgh here last week, and the inclination is to go with Pittsburgh again after that thrilling, video-tape-review win over a middling Washington Huskies squad. However, with the exception of awkwardly bedding fat girls in the 23 to 25 range, I don't do anything twice in the span of a week. As such, we've got to give the nod to Villanova, 18th ranked at 7-1. They just blew up Temple, 101-93, in one of those epic Philly collisons that you have to live in the city, or do copious amounts of blow, to truly understand. Scottie Reynolds is cracking jokes and establishing a good rapport with his band leader; in sum, it's his show, and if Jay Wright(er) is striking, he doesn't care. I should be forced to watch an entire season of "Veronica's Closet" with my eyes taped open for that last series of jokes.

Marquette also gets a nod here, for ending Wisco's impressive home winning streak. I used to be a big Badgers guy because my ex-girlfriend's dad is from Appleton (where Brian Butch trolled in high school), and went to Madison back in the day. I'm tired of protecting those that hurt me, though. While I like Bo Ryan and his ability to do the Soulja Boy for a middle-aged white man is distinctly impressive, I'm more down with Dominic James, Tom "I look like I could be in Dilbert" Crean, and the Marquette clan. They will make some noise in the Big East this year despite a better backcourt than front court.


Player of the Week

Remember the last time the 'Cuse had a frosh from Baltimore doing dastardly things with the rawhide? In case you don't, he's currently in the NBA, playing on the most dysfunctional-cum-possibly-talented-at-least-if-we're-just-looking-at-the-starting-five squad in the league. As a side note I know you're anxious to hear, when Georgetown (my alma mater) beat 'Cuse in 'Melo's frosh year, we stormed the court, and my friend Nick and I brushed right past 'Melo. I contemplated giving him a little "People's Elbow" action, but the problem with logic like that is, then movies like "Stop Snitching" come out and you realize the paper-thin line between your arse in a casket and storming the MCI Center floor.

Regardless, 'Cuse has a new fan of "The Wire," Ray Lewis, and Aubrey Huff's radio show antics - Donte Green. He's a SIX FOOT NINE, TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FIVE POUND (did you hear the Gus come out in me right there? I can't control it. It's like how it must be for The Incredible Hulk) specimen, and he's climbed his way up to the No. 2 scorer in the Big East for the always-dangerous Orange. This past week, he hung 20 and 10 boards on a good UVA team.


Team with the Worst Week

I just moved back to New York, my city of origin (although you wouldn't know it from the way I act, which I pride on being more Idaho). The best part about this is that I can hit up obscure East Village watering holes for Georgetown game watches, and gawk at all the I-Bankers and assorted d-bags who I used to go to school with - and who now make a lot more money than me, and are attached to far more attractive women. Jesus. That was a real eye-opener. The point is, I was once terribly excited for this Georgetown vs. Louisville game on February 9th, figuring it would be a fierce Big East battle. That was before Louisville lost Padgett, then dropped games to BYU (an emerging squad, yes, but not a team that should necessarily be beating Louisville) and then Dayton.

Whenever a team loses to Dayton, I think of that movie "Radio Flyer." That was arguably the 8th worst film ever made, behind all the "Problem Child" movies and anything showcasing Shelley Long. Louisville should get swallowed by Georgetown, because who can/will guard Hibbert? You have to have faith in any team guided by Pitino, and I'm sure the Cardinals will make the Dance, but this is hardly the beginning they expected.

To Watch

'Tis a slow week, as the boss men of this site have already noted. Here's some halfway decent stuff:

Saturday, 12/15 - Pittsburgh vs. Oklahoma State.
Sunday, 12/16 - UConn vs. Quinnipiac. I smell upset.

Generally Irrelevant Family Guy Quote of the Week

Quagmire (with a trashy girl on his arm): Hang around little guy, I'll be back later (he winks).

Stewie: Oh very well. I suppose I'll go and pump the chemical toilet. (Eyes the trashy girl.) Apparently, you're about to do the same.

This is, beyond a shadow of a doubt, how fans of WVU must feel. First, their team utterly - well - 'pumps the chemical toilet' - in The Backyard Brawl, football-style. Their gift? Running into Bob Stoops and company in a generally meaningless bowl game that will be further soiled by Kenny Albert on commentary. Now, the basketball team is 7-1, with their only loss to a good Tennessee squad, and they aren't even getting any love from the national pollsters yet. Meanwhile, the schedule only gets tougher, and we're sure Huggs is thisclose to discovering "the shine" in Morgantown, if ya catch our drift. No love for WVU anywhere. It's all about pumping the chemical toilet.

Player We Wish Would Come Back to the Big East

Terry Dehere. Here's a list of the three sweetest things in modern history: Celebrity Movie Archive.Com, the films of Judd Apatow, and Terry Dehere's 18-foot jumper. This kid was poetry in motion, before it was fashionable to refer to athletes and reference iambic pentameter. If only the 1989 title game had gone differently - we wouldn't view Steve Fisher as competent, we'd be more pissed at Latrell for what he did to PJ, and Eddie Griffin's legacy would be even more tainted as a player that set back a former national championship program. What this means for Ty Shine, Louis Orr, and the entire populace of "The Oranges" in New Jersey, we have no idea. We never said we were smart; we just claimed to appreciate beauty. And Terry Dehere, mid-air, ball cocked and ready to release and rotate and splash, now that was even more beautiful than Facebook friending Erin Drewes (a.k.a. "The Tebow Girl").

STF Big East Report: Rundown Numero Uno

STF Conference Report: Big East


Hola, mis amigos (just keeping with the Spanish theme for lack of anything remotely more original). My name's Ted, and you might remember me from such failed blogs as "A Price Above Bip Roberts" - and for those of you who traipse outside the sports blogsphere, the education-and-more chronicle "Donna Martin Graduates."

Despite hefty blogosphere faceplants, I'm here for the crew at STF, covering the Big East this season. As a proud alumnus of a Big East program - read: when I was there, we were awful and declined an invitation to the NIT, if that gives you a hint of where I wasted four years on drinking, obese girls, and poorly structured male friendships - I'm happy to chronicle the comings and goings of the league that the witty banter of Sean McDonough and company regularly makes relevant on Monday evenings.

As such, these reports will generally be filed on Tuesdays, to give us a chance to detox from the weekend and suck in a healthy gasp of Big Monday. Or something like that. Hell if I know.

Here we go with a debut edition:

TEAM OF THE WEEK

Pittsburgh - Although Pittsburgh's schedule to date is about as daunting as, well, facing Pittsburgh's pro baseball team, they're still 7-0 overall and rolling with a Top 15 ranking. Frosh DeJuan Blair basically told Robert Frost to suck it, claimed he could go home again (he's a Pitt native), and is putting off solid numbers off the bat for the Panthers (10.3 PPG, 8.3 RPG). A nice sidebar to Pittsburgh's early success is that their newly minted AD is Steve Pederson, who used to be there but then left for the flaming-bag-of-fecal-matter-on-your-doorstep known as 'Huskers football under Bill Callahan.' Pederson has thus provided over his school's main rival not reaching the football title game, and an undefeated start for the hoops side of things. Tight. It gets a lot looser on December 20th, when Pittsburgh collides with Duke, who figures to put up more of a fight than Houston Baptist.