A Plea To O'Reilly Auto Parts

Between the 35 tournaments they sponsor (BracketBusters, CBE, Puerto Rico Tipoff), the
scoreboard advertisements at nearly every game of the Big Ten/ACC Challenge and even a
sponsorship of Bob Knight's freakin' sweater, O'Reilly Auto Part apparently won't rest until they have sponsored the shit out of anything that ends in "Classic", "Challenge" or "Invitational". Not sure why they have targeted the college hoops market, but you can't seem to go 45 seconds without seeing an ad.

Despite O'Reilly's attempts to take over the college basketball world, I have still yet to ever set foot in an O'Reilly Auto Parts Store. Hell, I've yet to even see an O'Reilly Auto Parts. They must have some sort of successful business to have all these ads, right?

So the clever marketing got me to the website. O'Reilly's has over 1700 stores in 25 states, zero of which must be on the East Coast. And the mission statement has no mention of a hostile takeover of the college basketball world, but I'm assuming that's in the fine print.

So I've got a proposal for O'Reilly. Since you apparently want to sponsor everything possibly related to college basketball, how about sponsoring this college basketball website?? Your complete takeover will not be finished until you plaster your ads on every last independent college basketball source, so start here!

We at STF may have an audience 40,000,000 times smaller than ESPN, but we also cost 50,000,000 times less. And quite frankly, we need the cash. Extra P has fallen off the wagon once again and my money continues to disappear, despite the fact that I was told that I won the British Lottery via email last month.

So if you are from O'Reilly and reading this, you know what to do. The takeover isn't complete until you do.